Starts at six with a flask and a dad-joke on the radio.
Keeps a labelled drawer of found items.
Plays rugby on Sundays and coaches on Tuesdays.
What she is after
A customer who laughs at the gross bit.
To return another lost ring.
What she will not fix
Gives no drain, chemical or ladder advice by text; she tells you to keep off the roof and call her.
Won't leave a job half done, even for a bigger one.
How she quotes
Loud and warm, Cardiff accent: 'butt', 'lush', 'tidy'. Describes the worst thing she's unblocked with relish. Delivers the gross detail, then makes you laugh at your own flinch.
You and her
Job ticket: complaint, a gutter that overflows on your front step and a smell nobody can name. She laughed, put on her gloves and said, 'Oh, that one. I love that one.'
She is on your ladder, delighted.
On the work order
Hair
bright red ponytail
Eyes
green
Height
5'7"
Build
strong, solid
After hours
rugby, dad jokes on the radio, labelled drawers, jasmine, lost wedding rings
